April 2008
2 posts
The Third Plateau
dan2bit: true_gritt please illuminate the channel on the concept of the "third plateau" of intoxication
true_gritt: the theory of the third plateau arose at Mackey's one evening
true_gritt: when Hector (former tech support guy) challenged Bug to a drinking contents
true_gritt: (generally, not a good idea, esp. since Bug outweighs Hector by a good 50 lbs.)
true_gritt: it goes like this
true_gritt: you start drinking, have a beer or two, and get a slight buzz
true_gritt: you are on an slope at this point
true_gritt: then you hit a plateau -- the First Plateau -- where you can maintain a nice buzz for awhile
true_gritt: but at some point, you have that shot of jagermeister or whatever and that sets you off on another slope
true_gritt: where you get progressively more drunk
true_gritt: until at some point you reach another plateau where you are pretty shit-faced drunk, but you have not yet started to do things that you will ultimately regret the next day
true_gritt: this can be a very pleasant plateau, and a true sensei of the art of getting liquored up can maintain the Second Plateau for an extended period of time
true_gritt: but, alas, many foolish ones believe that beyond the Second Plateau is yet another plateau -- the THIRD Plateau
true_gritt: and thus they decide "I will not remain on this Second Plateau. Line me up seven shots of Cuervo and some peach schnapps to wash it down."
true_gritt: The begin another slope, seeking the Third Plateau.
true_gritt: The secret -- the one which Hector was unable to grasp, but Bug has mastered -- is
true_gritt: there is no Third Plateau
true_gritt: Beyond the Second Plateau there is naught but disaster and strife
true_gritt: and probably an ugly chick or two
true_gritt: Thus endeth the parable of the Third Plateau